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Showing posts from 2017

The whole story is

Sometimes people think that they know you, but they really don't - they only know a few facts about you, they piece you together in a way that makes sense to them.
Sometimes people think that as human beings, we can survive almost anything, as long as we see the end in sight. But the thing about depression is that it's impossible to ever see the end - depression is so insidious and it compounds daily.
Sometimes people think that they can understand the blackness, lethargy, hopelessness and loneliness you're going through - but they can't, they will never.
The whole story is: I am sad. I am sad all the time and the sadness is so heavy that I can't get away from it - it's like a lifelong fight to keep myself from sinking.

Page 1 of 365

Today, is the first blank page of another 365 page book. I'm guessing you'd expect me to write a good one, but I realised that I haven't been writing for a while now; my last blog post was written almost a year ago. One year is gone, just like that. It wasn't the best though, I would say. Last year was one of the toughest years I've been through. Okay, I probably do say this every year about previous years, but really. It truly was one of the toughest years yet. Never have I ever worked so hard to juggle both work and university life. At the same time, to manage myself.
But of course, there were some highlights for the previous year. I enrolled in a class learning basic graphic designing and excelled. Two of my best friends from college came to visit and spent a good two weeks here, covered the four cities in Australia. You have no idea how happy I was to see them after a year. And the best one was when my boyfriend came over after one and a half year of not seein…