25 February 2013

Peter Pan

"She was one of the kind that likes to grow up. In the end she grew up of her own free will a day quicker than the other girls." - J.M. Barrie


I found out that growing up can mean a lot of things. Growing up is hard, it's never straight forward. There are moments when everything is fine, then there are other moments where I realise that there are certain memories I'll never get back and there are certain people that are going to change. They said growing up was watching your own breasts grow, your waist widen and hairs sprouts on your erogenous zones. Strangely, even when we have stopped growing physically, we seem to keep on growing emotionally. But growing up changes more than just playground games and body shapes. Many years went by, I've been growing up, slower than I want to, faster than I realised. But life is such.

p/s: And don't you find it odd? That when you're a kid, everyone, all the world, encourages you to follow your dreams. But when you're older, somehow they all act disappointed if you even try.

22 February 2013

Hanging on

"... maybe we only exist in each other's dreams and every morning when we wake up, we forget all about each other." - Audrey Niffnegger


Clare Abshire was always left behind. She waited for him, didn't know where he was, always wondered if he was doing okay. It was difficult to be the one who stayed. She kept herself busy as she thought time went faster that way. She slept alone and she woke up alone. She took walks alone. She worked until she was tired. She watched the wind play with the trash that has been under the snow all winter. Everything seemed so simple until she thought about it. It was not easy.

So why is love intensified by absence? I guess now I know how it feels to be left behind. I am always waiting for him. I never know where he is. I am always wondering if he's doing all right. It really is difficult to be the one who stays.

I keep myself busy. I sleep alone. I wake up alone. I go shopping alone. I watch movies alone. I do whatever I can to make time go faster. This waiting feels like it has been a year, an eternity. Every minute is as slow, as transparent as glass.

Almost there

"It is good to have an end to journey toward; 
but it is journey that matters, in the end." - Ernest Hemingway


It would feel good to say this... but I'd shake my own hand. Congratulate myself. Hug myself. Shed some tears of joy. Jump like a crazy freak-a-zoid who had just won millions of dollars. Because I'm almost there. I am almost there!

9 February 2013

All or nothing

"Every couple needs to argue now and then. Just to prove that the relationship is strong enough to survive..." - Nicholas Sparks


I honestly would say that relationships are never easy. What more long-distance relationships. It definitely isn't as easy as telling him you love him. Sometimes you'd be madly in love and crazy about each other... on cloud nine, then sometimes you'd find the both of you arguing for the littlest things in life and fighting like it's the end of the world. Though I have to admit it's actually pretty normal. No matter how much you hate arguing, you hate fighting, there will always be disagreements between each other, arguments and fights. And this basically happens because we are different. We are not the same. We all have different personalities, different views about things, how we see things are different and the way we think are different. Just like Marcus and I. Both different. We might love the same things, but at the same time we don't. Like how I love seafood, you name it: prawns, crabs, fish, scallops. I love frogs and escargots. But he doesn't. He loves Maths, I don't. He loves all these electro house music and I'm starting to like listening to those kind of music. I feel like I don't really know everything about him yet. I feel like I'm still getting to know him. And I love it. I mean, we have been together for almost seven years now and I still have something new to discover about him each day.

I know it can be pretty tough sometimes. But I think if you really love someone, you'd fight for them, you'd change for them. You'd still care for them even when you're pissed at them. You'd still think about the good times you had with each other. And no matter the tears you had shed, you'd still think about them. I still do think about him. All the time. Even when we've just fought. I'd think about him, think maybe sometimes it was my fault, think about him hugging me, kissing me gently. Just that little thought in your head will change your mind, that you shouldn't just give up and throw it all away, and to waste. If he's right there and he's the one, what is not worth fighting for?

Everything, everything is worth it.

3 February 2013

Big Bucket List

"We all have two choices; we can make a living or we can design a life." - Jim Rohn


1. Cliff jump.
2. Dance on the beach.
3. Donate hair to Locks of Love.
4. Get a tattoo.
5. Go on a road trip with friends.
6. Have a pen pal.

7. Have the perfect walk-in wardrobe.


8. Kiss in the rain.
9. Learn how to scuba dive.
10. Marry my high school sweetheart.
11. Meet Lana Del Rey.
12. Meet Leighton Meester.
13. Participate in La Tomatina in Buñol, Spain.
14. Perform in front of a crowd.

15. Pet a tiger.


16. Play laser tag.
17. Ride first-class.
18. Rock climbing.
19. Send a message in a bottle.
20. Visit Juliet's House in Verona, Italy.

21. Visit Santorini, Greece.