6 April 2015

Absence

"I found that I missed him the more he was absent from my life, and the more I missed him, the more I loved him." - Donna Lynn Hope


To be separated by distance, and for a matter of years... it sucks, really. To be wide awake, and start my day, but him getting all ready to go to bed. To watch him sleep, while he does the same, hours later. To feel nothing, but the exchange of feelings for each other. To face each other, but with a screen between us. We know nothing about each other most of the time. Because my morning is his night, his morning is my night. I go to bed, while he gets up from bed. He goes to bed, while I get out of mine. My today is his tomorrow; his today was my yesterday.

I sometimes forget how it feels to be loved. I sometimes forget how it feels to be touched, and to be cared for. I sometimes forget the way his eyes smiles, the way he looks at me, the way he cups my face with both his hands to kiss me. I sometimes forget the way he pulls me over to hug me, the way he kisses me on my forehead, the way he slowly grabs my hand and hold them tightly. I sometimes forget the way he brushes my hair off my face. Sometimes I forget how he looks when he's sleepy, how he smells, how soft his skin feels like and his warmth.....

He has no idea how much I miss him. No one truly knows how painful it is to be in a long-distance relationship after being together for 7 years, seeing each other almost everyday. Nobody understands. My heart aches. My hearts desires for no one but him. But... I can't have him. Not right now, not soon either. It really hurts. To love someone so much, to want to be with him every second of your life, but you can't. Because we are separated by distance and for a matter of years, not knowing when all of this will end. I love him, and I miss him so.