19 November 2014

What it's like to be skinny

I'm skinny. I'm five feet one and I weight about thirty-nine kilos. I have never ever reached forty kilos before. Maybe I have, but just once. I'm a US size two, my waist is about twenty-three/four inches and my shoe size is size five. But guess what? I hate being this skinny. It sucks.

Crop top: H&M | High-waist shorts: Cotton On | Shoes: Vintage | Bag: H&M | Body chain: ASOS

I've read many posts about girls dissing and commenting about skinny girls like me. How we skinny girls are the "prettier/more good-looking" ones, that we have so much "self-confidence" and we always "get the guys". I heard we get to dress pretty because all clothes; anything and everything look good on us, that only skinny girls get to be "models" and every girl in the world wants to be/look like us. Us skinny girls make non-skinny girls look bad. But you girls don't know what it's like to be skinny. I am skinny and I hate it so freaking much.

I never asked to be this skinny. I have been skinny all my life. I have tried many ways to look normal. I want to be able to wear normal-sized clothes, not shop at the kids section. You have no idea what it's like to walk into a store and you see something you like, you try it on, hoping that it'd fit, but it doesn't fit because you're too skinny. And guess what? It's the smallest size they have. It happens all the bloody time. I love shopping, but I always end up going home feeling terrible about myself because I was too thin/skinny for that top, that skirt and that jeans.

I eat like a normal person, I don't starve myself and puke all over the toilet bowl. I eat breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner and supper. I told you, I eat like a normal person would. But I'm always accused of having an eating disorder that I do not have, and I hate it. I hate it too when people tell me I don't eat enough, or I look pale/sick/malnourished. I'm also often compared to a twig or a chopstick, called a "bag of bones" and get jokes like "Hey Jo, you sure you can carry that?" - bloody hell, it's just a pot. I'm always told to have a real meal, to stop starving myself and to gain some weight. I have people acting all shocked when they see me eating or going for a second/third round of food.

Being skinny isn't everything. I've seen many posts of people comparing skinny girls to larger girls, it always ends up with skinny girls getting trashed and called repulsive, while the larger girls get called a real woman/true beauty. You have no idea what skinny girls like myself go through. I'm not saying non-skinny girls don't go through any shit, I know you girls do too. But it isn't fair; just because we are skinny means we are bad role models, we get trashed/critised, and talked about. People are people. We all have feelings. Just remember that.

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