Skip to main content

Hanging on

"... maybe we only exist in each other's dreams and every morning when we wake up, we forget all about each other." - Audrey Niffnegger

Clare Abshire was always left behind. She waited for him, didn't know where he was, always wondered if he was doing okay. It was difficult to be the one who stayed. She kept herself busy as she thought time went faster that way. She slept alone and she woke up alone. She took walks alone. She worked until she was tired. She watched the wind play with the trash that has been under the snow all winter. Everything seemed so simple until she thought about it. It was not easy.

So why is love intensified by absence? I guess now I know how it feels to be left behind. I am always waiting for him. I never know where he is. I am always wondering if he's doing all right. It really is difficult to be the one who stays.

I keep myself busy. I sleep alone. I wake up alone. I go shopping alone. I watch movies alone. I do whatever I can to make time go faster. This waiting feels like it has been a year, an eternity. Every minute is as slow, as transparent as glass.