6 January 2013

Turning page

"You are my best friend as well as my lover, and I do not know which side of you I enjoy the most. 
I treasure each side, just as I have treasure our life together." - Nicholas Sparks


So, it's not going to be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me....... everyday. You and me, you and me, you and me.

It has only been three days (not counting the day he left) and it feels like forever. Here I am, listening to a really depressing piece by Sigur Rós, Fjögur Píanó and I just feel like soaking myself in my own tears. I AM THAT SAD. I can't remember the last time I have slept enough, ate right and even smiled at my own reflection in the mirror. I miss him so freakishly much. And things are never ever going to be the same again. We have been together for almost seven years now, and he just had to leave me behind. The time difference is crap, we talk less, I only get to see him through FaceTime or Skype, and I don't get to hold him anymore; I don't get to feel his warmth, neither can I feel his touch. My heart feels like it has shattered into millions of pieces and I'm now slowly picking them up, but I can't seem to find the missing pieces. Just something so precious was taken away from me. I wish we had more time together. I wish he didn't have to go.

This LDR thing is not easy. It just isn't easy. I guess it takes a whole lot of patience, truckload of trust and a handful of faith, which is nothing I am good at... yet. I tried, I blew up. And I will try again. But nothing feels the same.

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